Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
