Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
