I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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