Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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