please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
