I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
