bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
