You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
