the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
