So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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