Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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