i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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