even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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