Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
