something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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