I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
