ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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