You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
