we're blogging at a bar
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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