Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize