Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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