Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
