i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
