Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
