Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
