If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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