I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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