I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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