and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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