Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
