At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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