I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my being single is dangerous.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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