why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
