So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ttyl tear gas
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
