I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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