You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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