if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
