i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
