just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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