we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
