I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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