Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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