Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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