so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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