It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
