none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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