If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
