Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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