This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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