just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
