k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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