shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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