jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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