If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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