Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
