the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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