This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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