its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
