So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
