apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
