you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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