i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
