I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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