she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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